According to Dr. Justin Lehmiller who interviewed 4,175 Americans about their sexual lives, Americans have a variety of sexual fantasies among which are belly buttons and even cars. Also, the most common sexual fantasy involves a third person into the mix. Ninety-seven percent of surveyed Americans reported having sexual fantasies as “any mental picture that comes to mind. To find out more about the most common sexual phantasies among Americans, we talked with a number of sex psychotherapists. Here are our findings.


1. Having a threesome


The majority, almost 89 percent of people, fantasize about involving a third person in sex, preferably their spouse. Males generally fantasized about having sex with two women. Part of the appeal is the fact that so many body parts are intertwined. Many couples are drawn to this idea because they want to bring some excitement to their relationship.

2. Dominance and submission

dominance and submission in sex
Girl dominance in sex

Both men and women seem to be interested in dominance and power with more men interested in dominating and more women willing to be submissive. There are two main reasons why people like the dominance and submission during sex: 1. It allows them to have a full control of their sub and their entire focus on them. 2. The second is a feeling of letting go of control and being taken or used for the pleasure of another.

3. Public sex

The biggest appeal of having sex somewhere in the public is the fact that you may get caught at any time. This sexual fantasy is particularly common among women and some of the top locations include in the office, in the lift or in the part. Besides the thrill of being caught, there is also a thrill of being watched. Also, sometimes people get so wound up they can’t wait until they get home so they choose the nearest place to have sex.

4. Group sex

One of the sexual fantasies that seem to get much attention lately is a group sex. In fact, according to Lehmiller’s book on the survey, the number one sexual fantasy among Americans today is group sex. Although men were more likely to have this kind of fantasies, it may be surprising that women reported having had the same fantasies too. Lehmiller explains that this is probably a reaction to monogamy and sexual routines people in today’s society are getting bored with.

5. Watching your partner have sex with somebody else

Watching your partner have ex with someone else
A couple kissing on the ground

As mentioned before, in today’s society most of us are striving for a monogamous relationship because this is what society has imposed on us like a normal human behavior. Hats why an increasing number of people have sexual fantasies of watching their partner have sex with someone else. Watching our partner kissing or touching someone else takes us back to the early days of infatuation and reinforces our partner’s desirability. The pain that we might be feeling turns into a pleasure through the lens of fantasy.

6. Emotional sex

According to Lehmiller, most people craved for sex that would involve emotions instead of emotionless sex. People want to feel desired, loved, needed instead of having sex just for the sake of pleasure. Felling irresistible and sexually competent was desirable for both sexes. An interesting fact is that over half of the respondents had fantasies about their current partner

7. Giving your partner multiple orgasms

Probably the most consistent sexual fantasy among Americans is about having an enthusiastic partner who is expressive, responsive to his or her partner’s touch and is generally having a good time. In most cases, men have the fantasy of making the women experience multiple orgasms because it helps them stay aroused when they know they are competent in bed. On top of that, many men claim that when their partner is super-turned on, it gets them even more excited which increases their sexual satisfaction.



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